🔗: Tough Love
I love my mom, but I also “hate” my mom; without her, I wouldn’t be who I am today. When I was living in Hawaii, a woman told me something that I found very interesting: “You’ve come very far with your mom’s tough love, but if she had been more gentle and loving, you might actually have gone even farther.” I’ve been chewing on this for over a year now – I tried to imagine what my life would have been like if my mom hadn’t been so tough on me.
I didn’t necessarily agree with the idea that nurturing can get you farther than tough love, because my mom’s tough love is the reason why I love her, or how I understood love. But one thing is for sure: I would have loved myself more if my mom had been gentler.
Some successful people have talent and passion on the outside; the underlying layer is pain, which drives their passion. For example, I have a trainer who is skilled at pushing me to my limits, to the point where I can’t even walk the next day. One day, as we were training extremely hard, I stopped him in the middle of my workout and said, “Tell me about your childhood.” It turned out that he had a horribly abusive childhood as well as terrible relationships. They were the reason why he held so much passion, hate, and pain inside. Some of his clients feel at home with him, because his style of pounding and beating resonates with their own pain and aggression. The pain can be addictive; some people apply this thinking to relationships and don’t feel that love is present unless there’s some intense drama mixed up with pain.
When I was younger, I was passionate and talented at dance, but when I competed on stage, a huge part of me wanted my mom to approve and believe that I was good enough for her to love me. It’s how I’m wired now; I always beat myself up to prove to the people that I love in my life that I’m perfect and worthy of their love.
People can be 30 years old, 50 years old, or even 70 years old and still have their childhood self affect their lives. Don’t be afraid to look at, and ever stop learning...
🔗: Happy Birthday My Beloved Son 🎂
I can’t believe you’ve been in my life for eight years now. Every single year on this special day – ever since you were a little boy – I’ve taken a photo with you. It’s going to be our eighth photo together on your birthday.
Things are different this year because you have a new baby sister in your life – it’s no longer just you. But because we have Luna now, I learned that you were the best, most well-behaved puppy ever. You’ve been so adaptable to all the changes we’ve been through: moving from Maui to Los Angeles, people entering and leaving my life, etc. I’m so lucky that I raised a gentleman.
This is also the year that I cried the most. Maybe it’s because you’re 8 years old now; you’ve seen everything in my life and loved me despite it all. I’m scared of the day you’ll no longer be with me, and even though I try not to think about it, I get very emotional when I do. You’re still very healthy and I feel like I’m a good mom to you, but I know I can be better.
We bonded so closely over the years because we’re very observant of each other. I know when you’re feeling anxious, happy, or sick just by the things you do and the way you’re moving. I understand you, but you understand me as well. No matter what happens or how we change, we will always love each other. You taught me the meaning of true love.
When I think about you, I feel like I love you unconditionally. But recently, I realized it’s because you’re a part of me. You are the unconditional love that I give to myself – the innocent little girl inside. With you, I feel safe and at home. I promise to always give you a home as well and to never leave you.
You will always be my deepest love. Happy birthday, BoBo.
🔗: 🌻 R.I.P. 🌻
I receive quite a lot DMs every day, but one message caught my attention recently. It said, “I don’t know why I’m reaching out to you, but someone who admired you got shot last Friday. Someone who looked up to you is gone.” Devon Rideout was 24 years old when a total stranger shot her three times in the back and twice in the head. She was in her Navy uniform and taking her puppy out on a walk. Devon was a beautiful young woman and a very positive person, and she loved flowers – sunflowers especially. Everything in her life had just started for her.
The man who reached out to me was Devon’s best friend. He was very well-spoken, and his words resonated with me. He said Devon had loved the way I viewed life and lived passionately, and that they had often discussed my posts. He chose to reach out to me because it would have meant a lot to her. I could tell there had been a strong connection between the two friends; my heart swelled more and more as we spoke to each other, because I can only imagine how hard Devon’s death must be for her family and her best friend.
Even though I’ve never met them before, I felt closer to Devon and her best friend than people who I see in person and make small talk with. Strangers can do anything to each other – whether it’s hurting someone or connecting with them. We need to build bridges with strangers more often, because chances are we can grow to love them like we do our family and friends.
This Sunday at 4 p.m., we’re going to hold our usual MeshYoga class, but it’ll be a little different. There will be 🌻 sunflowers🌻 throughout the studio, and we’re going to practice love, compassion, and kindness in this class to give our best intentions and energy to Devon’s family and friends.
I’m happy I was able to make a positive impact on this young woman when she was alive, and I’ll continue being authentic to inspire others in the future. To my Meshes: Even if you might be strangers now, be kind to one another to build a positive, loving community. To Devon Rideout: Rest In Peace
To answer your questions, my Sunday MeshYoga class maintains at 4pm.
We are holding a different type of workshop at 3pm. It won’t be physical, I’ll be sharing my experiences on how to rewire your bad habits and patterns in life. We hope you can join us for the chat.
Here is the link: https://connectwithmllworkshop.eventbrite.com
And here is the link for MeshYoga class: https://meshyogawithmll20.eventbrite.com
In my last post, we talked about how changing your bad habits and negative life patterns can be very difficult. This Sunday 3pm, we are going to hold a workshop on how to take the next step to begin that process and start loving yourself.
This workshop is something new that I’m trying. Many people connect with me on Instagram because they read my posts and resonate with my thoughts. I can only speak from personal experience, so in the workshop, I will share examples from my own life and show how to rewire the bad habits and negative patterns in yours.
Most of my students are familiar with my teaching style: I break down different components of a pose and work on individual parts of the body to fully achieve the intended benefits of yoga. I teach the core essence of the pose – not just how to replicate it. This workshop will follow a format that aligns with the MeshYoga philosophy.
Have an open mind when you enter this workshop. I always want every class to make sense to students, so prepare to ask questions and answer a few in return. As always, here’s the link to RSVP: https://connectwithmllworkshop.eventbrite.com
🔗: Just Started
Some bad habits, such as smoking or eating dessert every day, are easy for people to identify, but certain life patterns – like getting into toxic relationships – are more difficult to recognize. It’s a big step when you finally gain awareness of your bad habits and life patterns. You acknowledge that eating bread makes your body feel heavy and sleepy; you understand that you couldn’t do a handstand because your alignment wasn’t correct; you realize that you’re surrounded by toxic people that are affecting your life negatively.
Unlike in the past, most people nowadays generally have no problem seeing what’s blocking them from moving forward. But the real work starts when you try to rewire yourself. It’s painful because you have to correct an existing problem, and you have to use conscious strength to really make changes happen. Being introduced to new things in life is easy, but it’s almost impossible to change something that’s been living with us for so long.
It can be very discouraging when you recognize the problem, but it feels difficult to change. However, there’s hope – once you understand why you can’t do something, you can identify and practice individual components to eventually achieve the full results.
🔗: Clean My Mirror
There are many people in this world who try to avoid pain as much as possible because they don’t want to confront their problems. But it’s easy to judge those people before you get to know and love them. Some people lack a thick skin and aren’t strong enough to deal with pain; however, that doesn’t take away from your love for them.
I have a friend who has tried to avoid pain his entire life. He’s very good at finding a quick, easy fix to things. When he was feeling lost about his career, his therapist referred him to a doctor, who gave him pills that were supposed to make him “happier” and “function better.” I’m confident in my intuition, and it doesn’t take me very long to read or figure out people. I knew my friend had never shown symptoms of depression; he was just feeling confused about the trajectory of his business. So, I asked the doctor if my friend could slowly stop taking the pills – especially because the dosage was so low. The doctor said no.
There were two reasons why the doctor wanted him to keep taking the pills: My friend had been on this prescription for a long time, and if he went off the pills, he would feel sad and anxious.
But it’s normal for humans to feel sadness! I got sad because a good doctor who cares about you wouldn’t want you to keep taking some sort of happy pill. Things like meditation, a healthy diet, etc. can do so much for you. We need therapists who will listen without telling us what to do, and we need doctors that have our best interests in mind. Their job is to guide us to the right door; once it’s open, we should be free to make decisions on our own.
It’s easier to live in a fantasy world than in reality; there’s no risk, and you don’t have to fix your problems. My friend will always try to escape difficult situations, like talking about love or his emotions, because he’s scared to fully experience those feelings. But we need to practice trust, even if it’s just talking to ourselves. The worst thing we can do is dodge the problem through things like happy pills or codependency.
It takes a lot to be human, but we can’t give up. We need to get through difficult times to truly live, laugh, love.